Monthly Archives: January 2012

Eptesicus Vespertilio Molossus

Hello, twats.

Well the job hunt continues as Toronto gets colder and colder. I can’t quite remember what I wrote in my last post and, as per usual, I am too lazy to go back and check. So if I repeat anything, apologies.

Made a few great purchases last week…

One of my favorite artists. A departure from her usual sound but a great album nonetheless. This album seems to be getting a lot of mainstream attention, which is good. Because now when people ask me who my favorite artist is and I say “Kathleen Edwards” they’ll know who the fuck I’m talking about. Favorite track at the moment: A Soft Place To Land

My future wife, Norah Jones, revived The Little Willies and have put together an album of outstanding country covers. This album makes me want to be a better musician, mostly because it makes me realize what a shitty musician I actually am. Really recommend this one. Favorite track at the moment: I Worship You

I’ve been meaning to start reading again. I don’t read a lot and the books I do read I tend to just read them over and over. I used to try to get into books all the time but found myself getting five chapters in than forgetting about it. The last book I read was Karl Pilkington’s travel diaries from An Idiot Abroad. Karl Pilkington is probably my favorite author, hilarious. One book I’ve read at least seven times is Sideways by Rex Pickett, this novel from the one time author is the basis for the movie of the same name. I was so disappointed to realize he only had written one novel back in the day when I first bought this book.

Anyway I finally found a book online I was interested in picking up. Justified is one of my favorite shows at the moment (and it should be yours too) and it’s based on a short story compilation called Fire In The Hole by Elmore Leonard (he also wrote Get Shorty). Anyway he just released a new book called Raylan, all based around the character in Justified. So this was a pretty easy decision. But when I arrived at Chapters, I forgot that since it is new it’s only available in hardcover so I had to pass.

Oh, but wait a minute…

I thought for sure I was seeing things. But did I luck out or what? The one time author is now a two time author, not only that but he’s written a SEQUEL to my favorite book. I’m about four chapters in and NOT bored. It’s nice to see these characters again and I’m trying to take the reading a bit slow so I don’t rush through it. Hopefully by the time I’m done this novel, Raylan will be in paperback or Pilkington will release another book of nonsense.

This brings me to something I’d love to hear some feedback on in the comments. Buying hardcopies over downloads.

I’m of the opinion that I still enjoy having the physical object in my hands. If it’s an artist I absolutely love (Kathleen Edwards, Norah Jones, U2, Diana Krall, Elvis Costello, The Swell Season) I will make it to HMV and buy the physical CD. If it’s some new artist that I just like a few songs off their album or someone I don’t necessarily want to support, download it is!

The book thing is similar but different. I would much rather have the book in my hands but this is more about comfort for me. I know the e-readers are extremely popular now, and after examining my friends’ Kobo I agree they’re pretty damned convenient and the screen doesn’t burn your retinas. At the same time though I think there’s something in having to turn the pages and show off to the world what you’re reading. I don’t think I could get used to the idea of swiping a screen or pressing a button to turn pages in a book. As of now I’m still trying to get used to the touchscreen on my new phone. (HTC Raider, in case you were wondering)

Oh, by the way I also carry around my pay as you go UK phone as a decoy. A-ha! Try to get me now friendly muggers!

Thoughts? Do you still buy CDs and books? Or do you keep everything digital now?

The Station Agents had another get together Saturday afternoon. I made sure to go to the gym beforehand to sweat out my hang over, whereas Mike showed up looking like death munching on McDonalds. Ha. The songs are coming along, and we’re hoping to have a goal gig to start working towards to tighten up the material faster. Details on that to come.

Also, we are STILL in the search for a bassist. So Toronto, the music is simple, if you know basic guitar you can keep up on the bass. We only practice once a week and all of us have lives outside of the band we’re not hardcore go-getters. This is more of a hobby, we’re a group of guys who just love to play music but don’t necessarily want to make a career out of it. Email me if you’re interested in giving it a go.

Had a wonderful dream last night. Do you ever have a great dream where you dread waking up and realizing it wasn’t real? The worst is when that dream is not so far fetched that it could’ve been a reality. Such a pity. On the flipside though, it gave me an idea for a short or one-act play. There’s a writing competition deadline coming up so I’m thinking I now have the story I want to tell.

Blah blah blah boring boring boring.

I’m told yogurt is good for you. So I’m forcing it down my throat right now. I fucking hate yogurt.

I don’t believe I’ve shared this anecdote, so here you go…

When I was very young my mother, her friend and I made a trip to Seattle. I think…I think it was Seattle…anyway we went to Seattle so they could shop and we could visit family. At the time I loved yogurt, couldn’t get enough of the slime. On our way to one of the big shopping centers we stopped off at a convenient store where I found Root Beer Yogurt.

I thought this was it. Combining my favorite soft drink with my favorite snack? What could possibly go wrong?

Well I puked. And I puked. And I puked. Walked around with a shopping bag around my head for the rest of the day. And until last year I had never eaten yogurt since. I would just lie and tell people I was allergic. But the truth is, everytime I see or smell yogurt I get this flashback to the rancid Root Beer flavored goop from way back when. If I ever meet the man who decided to make a soft drink flavored yogurt, I’ll punch him in the face and make him eat rice pudding made with Roseanne Barr’s breast milk.

Cheers!

- B.

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Batman Home: The Return to Gotham.

Worry not, that won’t be a permanent title of every post from here on out.

Well folks I am back. Currently watching Live with Kelly, nursing a whiskey hang over and garnering up the motivation to get my lazy ass to the gym. I miss Regis, this just isn’t the same…Dana Carvey guest co-hosting? Come on…

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks since I’ve returned to the land of bitter fucking cold. My first few days were treated like a little vacation, in Toronto and out catching up with friends. Then I headed to Ottawa for a few days to see my family and eventually move my stuff from Ottawa to my new apartment in Toronto. Seeing my family was great, seeing the pups were also great. I missed those hounds a lot.

We (flatmate and I) were very fortunate in finding a decent apartment in Little Italy. I am in love with the location, it’s perfect.

So now I’m on a mad job hunt. I was being picky at first and was trying to see if I could maybe snag something other than a PA gig, but even with so many media-esque jobs out there in the city it’s easier said than done. I’ve been throwing my CV everywhere but now it’s time to look to my former co-workers for any potential position I can snag. I’m incepting their minds to weasel my way in! Kidding, of course.

Badass.

Here’s a brilliant highlight since my return…I finally saw The Muppets.

I can’t remember the last time I literally sat and smiled through an entire movie. It was exactly what I wanted it to be and then some. I’m so tempted to see it again while it still plays for cheap at AMC on weekends, but it will be released on video in a couple of months so I think I’ll hold out.

This was the first year I did NOT watch the Golden Globes live since I was in high school. Which was odd seeing as Ricky Gervais was hosting, maybe I’m losing my interest in these things. I still plan on hosting the annual Oscars party. You know, the one where only six people show up. To be fair, I really only know about six people in Toronto anyway.

I miss traveling but it IS nice to be home. I never really considered Toronto a permanent home, just a city where I was extremely lucky to get work in an industry I want to excel in. I loved it for that, but not necessarily for the city itself like some of my colleagues do. That being said, walking around the city the last week I did have that “home”-like feeling. I find that I’m being really nice to strangers too, which is odd. I used to just walk around with my head down and headphones in minding my own business, but I think having to come out of my shell a bit whilst overseas has maybe had an effect on how I am when doing something trivial like buying a tube of toothpaste. Maybe I’m not explaining this properly…but I’m like having actual smalltalk with strangers. I NEVER used to do that. I would buy a bottle of wine and get the fuck out. Now I stick around for a couple minutes and shoot the shit with the middle-aged woman at the cash. I HATE small talk, so what the fuck?

Something a little exciting, well for me anyway, is that The Station Agents will be having our first get together tomorrow afternoon to start pounding out plans and songs. With Mike now being in Toronto (the original drummer from Fredericton) I’m really excited to get this mutha going. However…I’m putting this out there, we’re in need of a bassist and possible vocalist. Two in one would be great but if you’re reading this and know anyone in Toronto who could fulfill this requirement, email me. They don’t have to be amazing, it’s pretty basic shit. I’m not saying the music is shit…well it might be…I don’t know…you tell me…OK fine some of it is shit.

OK not much else to report on so I suppose I can cut it off here. Work work work. Write write write. Music music music. And start pestering Tom about shooting the short we wrote.

Cheers twats. See you at the Free Times.

- B.

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Batman Abroad: The End.

In a few hours I will be boarding a plane back to Toronto.

So this is officially the last travel diary…for now anyway. Hopefully it won’t be too long before I’ll be financially able to travel again. It will be odd writing another blog post without “Batman Abroad” in the title. I’ll miss it.

These last few days in London have been bittersweet. It’s been a nice relaxing stay. Weather has been kind of on and off, but I was able to see some of the things I didn’t see before. I spent a lot of time walking and getting lost. Major lost. I got really lost on Monday and had no idea where the fuck I was. I don’t know how that happened. I usually am able to know where I am at all times. But the last couple days here have been killing me. It took me an hour to find Susie’s house to get my guitar and she literally lives a three minute walk from where I’m staying! What the fuck is that?! I need a smartphone just for the GPS…fuck me.

Where it began, where it ends.

New Year’s Eve was quiet. Well far from quiet. But quiet in the sense I was still out on my own. However I’ve definitely gotten used to this. And the fireworks along the Thames was ridiculous. I would like to know how much money flowed into that spectacle.

Being back in London has almost been like returning home. Of course a big reason for that is everyone is speaking ENGLISH. And what definitely came with that feeling is this overwhelming exhaustion. I haven’t slept like this since I was last in London. All the traveling has finally caught up to me, I’m so looking forward to that jet lag when I arrive back in Canada.

I will be in Toronto for a few days crashing with my very understanding friends and former roommates. Colin was the only one I let know about my arrival before last night. Chris now knows as well. So in assuming that  Jer doesn’t read my blog, he’ll get a nice surprise when he comes home from work and I’m standing atop the staircase naked in all my glory. I’ll be in the city to do some major job and apartment hunting until I go back to Ottawa to see my family. I’m a little stressed…OK I am stressed, but I’m hoping it’ll all work out. Fingers crossed.

So should this final post be reflective? I feel like all my diaries have been nothing but reflective with a side of vulgarity. So to do so would be a lot of repeating…

Maybe I can do highlights? What I liked, what I hated, what I was “Meh” about. Or just a quick rundown, yeah a quick rundown. Let’s do that…like a Coles’ Notes version. BAM!

BONG! London was great. When I first arrived I was groggy and jet lagged. But it was so AWESOME to be surrounded by these accents that I’ve tried so hard to imitate and always failed. I couldn’t help but giggle just eavesdropping whilst in the tube. I stayed with the friendliest woman my first week and the friendliest Australian gay couple for two weeks after that. They were wonderful and I played my first ever game of croquet with them. And I won! Ahem, not bragging…anyway, I worked a small commercial (also acted poorly in it for a micro-second) and then buggered off.

Bottle of wine down beneath the undercarriage of the Eiffel Tower

BONG! Paris was something else. My Canadian French did not go unnoticed. It was humiliating at times. But what made up for it was the fact I was staying in a Korean hostel, drinking every night with a group of the friendliest Asians I’ve ever met. Um, and also Disneyland Paris? Definite highlight. It was like being home again…if I were from Anaheim or Orlando…anyway Paris really was beautiful. I loved getting lost in the streets.

In Segovia, just outside of Madrid

BONG! Madrid was beautiful, but what was even better about Madrid was seeing Chelsea. At this point it had been weeks since I’d had a real conversation with anyone. Talking and hanging out with Chelsea was JUST the same as being back home. I’d also like to extend an apology to Chelsea if I ever embarrassed her whilst out with her friends, when I get nervous I drink more and drink faster. Oh! And the zoo! That fuckin’ zoo rocked with those crazy circus bears. They weren’t really circus bears but man could they catch a peanut.

The one day in two weeks it didn't rain.

BONG! Venice was where inspiration hit. It was raining like mad so I was holed up in a tiny little flat while the rest of Italy was sinking. So I started spitting out as many ideas, short scripts, and polishing old scripts to bide my time. I entered some writing competitions, touched base with my old boss from Breakout Kings, and started to think about what my real goal was going to be whilst out here.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Gladiator reference)

BONG! Rome, I went to because I had to. Don’t get me wrong, it was really great to see the sights and most were breathtaking, but it was like Paris. It’s a city that you’d be daft NOT to see when you’re out in Europe and have the opportunity. It’s a tourist death trap though. It was crowded, everyone is trying to sell you something, and the subway always smelled of burnt piss. Yes, that’s right, burnt piss.

Marry me.

BONG! Slovenia was the underdog and ended up being the best place I visited through my journey. It is such a beautiful country. The beer is tasty, the people are wonderful and friendly, and I simply didn’t want to leave. Kaja and her family made me feel so at home. If and when I come back, I will definitely make time to return to this country. I had a great time.

Forget what this is...

BONG! Budapest. I was sick. It was gloomy compared to Slovenia. The House of Terror was cool. Ugh, that sounds awful. I’m not having a go at Budapest, it was a pretty cool place to visit. The people were really friendly, but I spent most of my time lying on the floor next to the fireplace because I was so sick. That sort of ruined my visit. But from what I did see it was nice!

Finally mulled wine.

BONG! Prague, finally a Christmas Market and an accidental stumble into a jazz club. A really beautiful city. The cobblestone streets take some getting used to though. I was tripping over my feet every 30 seconds and I hadn’t even had nowt to drink! Can you imagine how hard it was AFTER 6 double Jim Beams at the jazz bar? I’m surprised I made it home.

Berlin Wall.

BONG! Germany was fantastic. It was the country I was looking most forward to visiting. I remember during my first year in Toronto I was thinking about taking a trip to Germany. But work and money didn’t allow the freedom to do so. So it sort of sat on the backburner. Berlin, Hamburg, Cologne, and Bonn. I had a blast in each city, and with the company of Klara, Jonathan and Karolina, it made it all the better.

In Bruges. Get it? In Bruges! Like the movie!!

BONG! Then there was Bruges. Oh, Bruges. You hooked me with the movie, but you sold me when I arrived. This historic city is well worth your time if you ever get the chance to come over. I spent Christmas here and don’t regret it. Walking to the top of the Belfry and indulging in my own personal one-man pubcrawl around the small center were definite highlights. My last night was so bittersweet, sitting in a pub, drowning in one of their MASSIVE pints and realizing the next afternoon I would be taking a horrendous bus ride back to London. I swear that bus driver was fucking mental.

And then here we are. That’s it. Well that’s it in a nutshell. If I were to go into every detail this post would be a fucking novel. If you’re really interested you can read the past individual posts about each city/country. But I know you won’t. Lazy cunts…

Though I went to some pretty touristy places and sights are obviously a big deal, I think a highlight to traveling is observing the people. Watching and adapting for a short time to how others around the globe live is an eye opener. And it’s made me more patient and focused. This trip was an impulsive decision that I honestly didn’t think I was going to get much out of. I thought I was going to move to London and stay in London. And I’m sort of glad that a job didn’t pan out, it allowed me to put the money I saved up towards something more worthwhile.

Although now I’m returning flat broke…fuck it, it was worth it.

OK here’s my one piece of advice I’ve garnered from all this…travel. I don’t care where you go, but leave your comfort zone. I never wanted to travel before. I was perfectly content going to Orlando every other year with the family and Buffalo/Niagara with the buddies for a cheap shopping trip. I didn’t want to board a plane, I didn’t want to limit myself because I only knew English, and I definitely didn’t think it would be that interesting. But fuck, I was so arrogant, stupid and naïve to think that.

While I don’t believe this has changed me much as a person, it has had its benefits. I do think it’s broadened my mind although I couldn’t tell you how, it’s made me more focused in my goals career-wise, and it’s planted the travel bug in me mind. There’s so much more to see on this planet and I definitely want to make the best of it before the world ends, I get AIDS, the rapture hits, etc. Take your pick.

We’re so comfortable, wired into our electronically run lives that I think some may forget that the world doesn’t only exist in the small box at your fingertips. (And I ain’t talkin’ ’bout a fanny, get yer mind outta the gutter!)

I’m a strong advocate of career first.

I think that’s both a flaw and a strong point. Strong point because it makes you work towards a goal and see the big picture, flaw because you can sometimes have a hard time seeing beyond that goal at what might be more important. Such as life experience.

But there’s no rule against taking some time to travel whilst still climbing those steps to your “Before 30″ deadline. I mean it’s officially 2012 now, you may only have until next December to see some of this planet before the world crumbles into oblivion. IT CAN HAPPEN!

I’m not looking forward to leaving. However I don’t have any other choice, I can barely afford to fly back as it is.

But I am looking forward to grabbing a few pints with familiar faces. And hugging my family, especially those two mutts who were so confused when they heard my voice coming through a laptop on Christmas morning.

So until the next time, thanks to those who kept reading these travel diaries. These diaries I wrote were for me, but it does feel good to look at the stats and see others have visited this blog. Stay tuned for my return to boring blog posts about my life in Toronto, but hopefully with some shooting diaries for Citizen Kane 3000 on the horizon.

And Europe, goodbye you saucy sexy fucking cunt. Thank you for letting me drink my way through a portion of your glory. I can’t wait to dip my Bat-a-rang inside you once again in the future.

Cheers twats.

- Billy Ray. (aka Batman)

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